Monday Weigh In

Not a pretty sight this morning... 187lbs... 2lbs away from 189lbs... I never want to see 189lbs on the scale again..The weekend was really good exercise wise but not great food wise... a bit of boredom eating and quite alot of wine AGAIN... Never mind... over it... 

My plan this week is to make sure I get all my exercise in, make sure I am 100% good on my food not drink during the week and just really keep my head down and stay on track. I have been thinking of ways to shake up my food to make sure I can keep on track and lose this extra 5lbs that I am carrying around... I have done alot of reading and thinking and have decided that I am going to try the following... At the moment my workout routine is as follows: 

Mon: Run

Tues: Run

Wed: Rest

Thurs: Run

Fri: Run

Sat: What I want

Sun: Rest

But I actually want to change this and bring back the toning exercises that I did for a while but never actually gave a chance to work.... So I am going to change it to: 

Mon: Run

Tues: Toning

Wed: Run

Thurs: Toning

Fri: Run

Sat: What I want

Sun: Rest

Now on the days that I am doing the toning I am going to incorporate my own style of the 5:2 Diet...at the moment I am not sticking to my calories and feel that if I do a mix of both then I will defo come in on target in regards to my calorie deficit. The toning days I won't be actually burning a huge amount of calories as will be toning instead... so on Tues and Thurs I want to have a recovery protein shake for breakfast after my workout and then have 2 home made juices during the day followed by a light dinner of soup or salad. I have read alot about juicing and I do believe that if used correctly they would be a great benefit to anybodys diet... I know for certain that I don't get enough fruit and veg in my diet so am excited to incorporate it. 

So this is it... the start of me getting tough on myself...becoming serious and taking it to the next level. 14lbs...14 weeks... getting rid of the 5lbs extra and making myself a healthier and better person. 

ps.... check out my latest progress picture... I don't know if you can see a difference....

Feeling Good

Last night I had no wine... I stayed in my calorie goal and this morning I completed a 30 minute run by 7.30am....

I am feeling good, I am feeling in control, I am feeling sexy, I am feeling like I am changing my body and my lifestyle in a positive way, I am feeling very much back in the zone, I feel like something has clicked, I am loving the fact that by just getting up 1hour earlier I have already done my workout and don't have to spend my day thinking about the run I have to do... 

I'm Sorry For FAILING Again

This is going to be such a boring post....mainly because I have said this so many times over the last few weeks.... I keep on failing... I don't know why. I want to be fit, I want to be healthy, I want to tone up and I 100% know that none of these things come without dedication, hard work and self-belief. If I want and know all of this why do I keep on failing...especially as the only person I am hurting is myself. I am getting so fed up and tired of starting again... and tired of not even seeing 182lbs on the scale anymore... this morning it's around 185lbs.... 

I know that one of the things I am doing wrong compared to about 4/5 weeks ago when things were going well is that I am drinking a lot more...now I never totally stopped drinking but I had cut out drinking in the week and I have got back into the habit of drinking every night... to the point that I can't remember when I didn't have a drink for 24hours. So I really need to break that habit as as I have said a number of time wine alters me in so many ways...I am not as strong in regards to willpower, it makes me hungry, it's effects my personality and it defo reduces my energy to get up in the mornings to go to the gym! 

Last night we had a very nice evening but we consumed 2 bottles of wine... I didn't get up this morning to go to the gym.. I was too tired even though I went to bed around 11.30... What's the point of trying to eat healthy all day if by 6.30pm you are sabotaging yourself with a glass of wine that leads to a massive downfall.. and also I am tired of feeling guilty.. I am tired of looking at the scales and not seeing anything positive and knowing its all my own fault... 

So here is my goal...I want to have to go back to not drinking during the week...I want to go back to the gym... I enjoy the gym.. in fact I love the gym... so I just need to get back into the habit of going... like I keep on saying if I eat right, say no to the things I know I shouldn't have and exercise regularly then my body will become in better shape and my weight will go down... Why can't I just get that in my thick head....I need to really look at what I am doing everyday and see when and how I am about to fail and make sure I am in control for my future me and future body... Normally I would also set myself a weight goal as well but half of me doesn't want to as it's not about the weight so much anymore...BUT at the same time it's 14 weeks till the end of the year...and it does seem to be a perfect opportunity to challenge myself... 1bs a week...14 weeks.......

Bastards Stole My Bag

So annoyed... My car got broken into on Monday night and the bastards stole my handbag with my purse in it ....my very lovely D&G purse.... so sad and so annoyed.... 

I stupidly left my bag in my car outside my house over night thinking it would be safe...we don't live in a  very residential area and we are away from the main road and on a school premises so was pretty certain it would be quite safe... Came down to the car on tuesday morning to go to the gym and all my car windows were wide open. I was like..omg...did I leave all my windows open overnight....hold on where's my handbag.....

Rushed inside and asked Biggy if he had taken it to teach me a lesson to not leave windows open.. he hadn't...they had jammed a screwdriver into my lock which releases a "safety" mechanism in my car of putting all the windows down and the Bastard just lifted my handbag out .... sigh.... all my credit cards and everything. They did manage to take some cash but luckily I will get everything back and have of course cancelled all my cards... the most annoying things of it all is just the hassle of having to cancel everything, spending £150 on a new lock and losing the little things like my makeup and my book etc...

However the thing that annoyed me the most....was that I couldn't go to the gym as I had to wait for the police, sort out my cards, fix my car etc and it has messed up my routine... so annoyed... I will have to make it up over the weekend which is fine...I was thinking of going tonight but Wednesday is normally my cleaning night and the flat is a state so really need to do that! 

Today has been a good eating day... I have been looking over my food diary and really want to get my protein levels high again... I had a shake for breakfast with an egg... normally I would have a big breakfast but as I didn't have any MONEY I couldn't go and buy anything..then at lunch I went to the bank and managed to get some money out and went and bought.... English Muffin, cooked chicken and pineapple cottage cheese... had that with a protein shake... and then for dinner having mashed cauliflower with green beans, chicken thighs, bacon with onion. 

Monday Weigh In: Let's Be Realistic

So realistically last week wasn't a great week for me..in fact it was pretty dire... I ate out twice in the week and in one day and had two x3 course meals...and the next day I ate a lunch that I shouldn't have really had either... then on Thursday night after my epic run in the morning I was up all night being really ill.. I had some kind of stomach bug that was not pleasant at all... although when I got on the scales in the morning I was really close to 182lbs it was obviously not real as I had just lost anything and everything from inside my body... then I was feeling so sorry for myself on Friday afternoon while in bed I ate chocolate and cookies etc even though I knew I was going to regret it later. Saturday was ok but I not great and on Sunday I ate raw cake mixture (Don't ask) followed by Toad in the Hole.... so alot of unhealthy stuff in that day as well.... I am actually really annoyed as when I got on the scales on Saturday I was showing 183lbs and said to myself if I have a good weekend I will stay at that which would have been good... instead I gorged myself on crap and saw the results this morning... oh and by the way... did I log all the crap I ate....did I hell! 

Anyway...today is a new day... a new week ...and a new chance to get it all right... I went to the gym this morning and I did my 30min run. I am actually really pleased as I struggled today and by 20 minutes I was considering stopping but instead I talked my way through it and completed the 30 mins....I also ran without music again this morning and it was good, I didn't miss it at all and when I was struggling I was concentrating on myself rather than messing around with changing the music to find a faster tempo... I think it works for me because in the mornings I am only one in the gym so I can still watch TV and hear it! I don't know how I would feel running on the street with no music! 

I am quite tired of always falling back... so far this year I have only lost a stone and for the last 2 months I have just been going up and down in regards to weight... I have 6 days until my wedding weigh in and know I won't make it..and actually it's not even about the weight so much anymore...it's more about how I keep on failing at "being healthy"... I want to make it so healthy is 2nd nature to me and I am not tempted to make bad choices and that I don't turn to food for things... I want to make sure I go to the gym when I say I will and just be healthy... If I had all of that all the time then I wouldn't worry about the number on the scale as I know my body would follow and I know that I am fit,healthy and in control... 

Oh...the Ache

My...body....hurts....!! Went for a run on Tuesday morning and managed a full 30mins which I was very pleased with! Then yesterday was my rest day.. now initially I wasn't going to have a rest day in the week but I was so tired and I think the shock of going back to the gym just knackered my body! So I had a rest day yesterday which is actually fine and something I think I will stick with as I normally go to the gym on Saturday anyway..

 

Yesterday I had a really big and unexpected food day but not in a out of control way... because I am leaving my job my mother wanted to come and meet me for lunch and so we went out and had a very nice three course meal...then in the evening I had a meal out with 3 of my friends for work and we had so much fun but of course also had a three course meal with wine! I didn't get to bed until 12.30am and was thinking I wasn't going to make it to the gym this morning... I woke up around 5am and thought I'm not going to go so changed my alarms to be an hour later... but then my body naturally woke up at 6.15am and I was feeling fine... I was lying there thinking to myself.. oh don't go it's fine... I probably won't do very well even if I do go because I ate so much and drank last night so there isn't any point... well half way through this chat I was like...wow hold up there... You are awake and feeling fine, you don't know how you are going to be once you get to the gym so don't say no before you have even tried... a 20 minute bad workout is better than no workout... so get up and go to the gym.... and do you know what I did! I did mange to leave my phone at home so for the 1st time had to run without music...and bizarrely I actually probably had the best run so far! I did 30 minutes without a problem and although yes I was sweating and I was pleased to finish I wasn't hugely out of breath or anything.. I was really pleased! I think I may even try running without music again as I don't know if that had anything to do with it ...my thoughts on that is because I was able to hear my body and my breathing... who knows....

 

Today however my body is really aching...like really aching... it's going to be a hot bath and early to bed for me tonight before I hit the gym again tomorrow morning!

New Horizons

This morning I got off my arse at 6.15am and headed to the gym...I  have to say I felt mighty pleased with myself especially as I didn't even have to talk myself into it.. I just got up and went. I got on the running machine and did a 5 minute warm up walking and then did 20mins straight run at 4.4mph...now normally I do 4.2 but felt it was too slow so upped it... I only managed 20mins and before I was doing 30mins but I am fine with that as I haven't been to the gym for about 3 weeks so can't expect to go back and be as good as before. I am sure it won't take me long to be back up at 30mins. I also ran with weights for the first 10mins.. I just held a couple of light handweights for 10 mins.. I was going to do 10mins with 10 mins without and then 10 mins with but didn't get to the last 10 minutes! After the run I did the plank, I did 3x 10 second holds.. not much but it's the first time I have done it so I don't think it's bad. Tomorrow I will be doing my toning workout from FitSugar and then Running again Wed and Fri and the the toning workout on Thurs. 

Here is a photo of me after my workout just cooling down for 5 minutes. My calfs' look so big but with my hard work they will be getting smaller as I become stronger! #positivethoughts

Today I have really stayed on track, had a yummy breakfast of Chicken breast, avocado, hummus, omelette and pineapple cottage cheese.... I have stayed on track all day and haa Maxitone shake for lunch with an apple and then dinner tonight is cold beef with salad and veg. I have recorded everything on MyFitnessPal the only bad thing is I forgot my FitBit this morning so haven't recorded my steps today. I definitely feel like I am back in the game and feel confident that I will stay on track again! 

Other news is that at last... I have a new job! I am thrilled! It's out of recruitment and quite close to where I live. It's better money and more in line with my previous roles. I start in about 4 weeks so am super excited and can not wait. I feel like I am turning a corner. I handed in my notice today and although sad to leave some of the girls in the office am not sad to be moving on from the company! 

Also I weighed in today and am 2lbs down... so 3lbs away from being back to my lowest SO FAR of 182lbs. 

Get My Head in the Game

The whole thing about weight loss and healthy living is that it's a mental thing....and when I say that I do mean 100% totally a mental thing. If you head isn't in it then nothing is going to work. As I said yesterday for me everyday is a mental fight to get my head and thoughts in the right place to allow me to have a successful day. At the moment I am not there. I should be ..but I am not. I am feeling a little bit overwhelmed with the fact that I want to 26lbs...and frustrated that 5 of those lbs I have already lost once! Not only do I want to lose the weight I want to tone up and focus on my health... So here is my plan...so I have it down in front of me and I can visualize what I need to do to achieve my goal to become a healthy and better me... 

1) Make sure I record what I eat every day

2) Make sure I stay in my calorie limit 

3) Don't go over calories with "empty calories"

4) Go to the gym every morning during the week

5) Ensure my 10000 step mark every day apart from my restday

6) Ensure that every day I have a healthy high protein breakfast

7) Avoid all bread where possible

8) Concentrate on protein and veg based meals

9) Have a large breakfast, small lunch and a medium dinner

10) Stay away from processed foods 

11) Stick with having one Cheat day a week

12) Only get on the scales once a week

13) Believe and realise that if I am doing what's right my body will follow

14) Stop eating when I feel full

15) Eat more veg 

16) Eat fruit when having a craving for something sweet

17) Really work on reducing alcohol intake

18) Learn to love my body now and in the future

19) Don't let myself get too obsessed with the scale or punishing myself

20) Enjoy the journey

21) Run 3 times a week

22) Push myself with sport

23) Remember that I enjoy doing sport

24) Tone up and relish the pain that comes with pushing my body

25) Have a full social life as well as a full fitness life

Holiday Wrap Up

Hola! Como estas?! jajajajaja..... I'm back from Spain and had a great great time. Lots of sunshine and lots sangria, I did eat well but also enjoyed myself... a daily icecream and a daily jug of sangria isn't going to help the scales is it?! 

Before I went away I went on a huge eating binge and ate so much crap it was crazy...100% of this was stress eating as work was just getting too much for me...anyway it resulted in a 7lbs gain.. no real surprise as I ate so much bread and chocolate, biscuits etc.. I was eating even though I wasn't hungry and almost forcing myself! Anyway ...got on the scales today and am sitting at 187lbs... so a 5lbs gain...it's not great but it's not bad and can easily rectify it. I am really looking forward to being back on track and getting healthy again. While on holiday I had a lot of time to look around me and without sounding gross look at womens figures and really decide on what I want... It's so interesting when you get to check out people and say no I don't want that yes I do want that. I am definitely not wanting the figure I have now and don't want to be overweight and wobbly... and I defo do want to be lean and toned... but I really don't want to be skinny... it's not sexy or realistic for my figure.. 

I know it's the same old story but it's good sometimes to look around and really reassess what you want and  to confirm you are moving in the right direction. It's going to be high protein, lots of veg and fish for me and I am pleased to say I am really looking forward to going back to the gym. I want to go daily as I was before and am going to concentrate on running and swimming. I know it's the same old story with me but I do feel like I have turned a corner in life... I also want to relax a bit as well. I think before I was letting health and fitness consume me (the irony) and although it does have to be a daily battle and always will be with me I think I need to come up and smell the roses and realise that this is a great thing I am doing and should enjoy it all rather than it being a punishment and not enjoying things in the here and now. Healthy eating is easy if you do it right, instead of low fat this, so many cals in that I think I want to take a much more natural approach. If it's unprocessed, natural and yummy it's all good in my books. Don't get me wrong I will still be looking and counting calories but just want to relax a bit more. 

And that leads me onto one of my projects, I want to put together a cookbook of all yummy recipes that will all be low carbs, high protein and generally healthy with a few treats thrown in... I bought a couple of folders the other day and I think now is the perfect time to start especially as we are entering into dark evenings...so a glass of red and looking at recipes is on the books!

Holiday to Espana

Hi all... well as we all know when someone disappears for awhile from blogging it's normally not a good sign... and that's a little bit of the case with me. I haven't done so well... and the last few days I have eaten so badly and eaten so much bread it's crazy. I know that most of it is from stress eating .... let's just say that Monday to Friday between 8.30am & 5.30pm is not my favourite time at the moment... I haven't been going to the gym either as my energy levels are just right down there almost like I am going into hibernation...but again I think this has something to do with the stress. I have been drinking lots and my skin is just exploding... I am a bit of  a mess... 

Anyway... off to Spain with Biggy for a week tomorrow which I am very excited about and I am actually going to use the week as a bit of a de-tox. I want to get back to healthy eating, cut out the bread again and the crap and start moving more...maybe not going to the gym as after all I am on holiday but a few walks and of course lots of swimming! I alway find it easier to eat healthy in hot countries and we are going to be right next to the coast so lots and lots of fish and seafood! 

Anyway I am going to keep it short and sweet... do really need this break and then embrace the health again... my body is groaning under the sugar and rubbish I have been feeding it the last few weeks!