Post Me to St Tropez

To be honest nothing major today after my MAMMOTH post yesterday! Today has been really good on the food front and I am very proud to say I have not snacked all afternoon! 

Biggy has flown to St Tropez (France) today and doesn't come back until late Sunday. He is there on work but I don't think alot of work will be done as he is there on a rally. This will be the longest time we have spent apart....sigh...but instead of getting down I am going to use the time alone to get back into good habits .. so I am off to the Gym tomorrow night. I have decided I will go to the Gym 3 times a week ( Mon, Wed, Fri) and then also on Saturday but more of a relaxing time... 

\ St Tropez /

Monday Weigh In After Holidays

WARNING - LONG POST

OMG...13st7lbs...189lbs....I am still a little bit in shock and to be honest don't think it will last but am of course really happy. Its all due really to my holiday! We went off to Cameroon for 2 weeks where I have (as the scales show) sweated my arse off!! Most of the time it was between 30' to 35's all the time...even at 11pm at night!! My appetite diminished and not because I didn't like the food at all just mainly due to the heat! I would have breakfast and then maybe not eat until dinner and even then only have one portion before feeling incredibly full! It was great, I wasn't even thinking about food most of the time! Apart from the weight loss I did have a really good holiday full for meeting people and family, Biggy hasn't been home in 6 years so there were LOTS of people to go and see! I had quite a few fat moments while on holiday but I think that's because I was hot and sweaty and makeup was running off within seconds, my hair was in a tight bun for almost 2 weeks and I was wearing clothes that were cool and relaxed and to wear once or twice a week make you feel good but worn every day make you feel unshapely and like a bit like a trekker, not to mention the swelling of hands and feet...all of this is quite ironic really as I have never had so many compliments... in the 2 weeks I was told virtually every day how pretty I was or what a great figure I had from family to strangers... unfortunately it went straight over my head!

Now I am back I really want to keep the momentum going and seeing how I am only 7lbs away from hitting my first major goal I am determined to continue the weight loss. However I am also now scared of eating too much and going back to being up to the 196 mark again which I really don't want to happen. But I am also not going to panic if I put on a pound or two as in the UK I am not going to be sweating half as much and my appetite will come back... it's come back a bit already..but more on that later...

So like I said before I went away I am looking at this as a new quarter and have a few things I really want to focus on... the holiday gave me time to really think and decide what I want to do especially as I found the first few months of the year quite tough in some aspects....

1) First thing is to really break off from wine... while away we still had some wine but nothing major as its really expensive in Cameroon so I feel like this is really achievable. Biggy is away from Tuesday all the way through to late Sunday evening so it will be a really good time to make me used to not drinking while being at home. I plan to not drink Mon, Tues, and Thurs, allow myself a drink on Wednesday but only if I really want one and then drink over the weekend. However I will also be really limiting myself to 1 or 2 glasses a night and only 2 on Friday and Saturday. The reason being is that every time I have more than I realistically need I regret it. I think after 2 glasses max 3 you don't appreciate the taste of the wine anymore and you just drink because it's there and the effect it gives...I don't want that anymore and I don't want the empty calories wine brings with it...

2) I really want to go back to the Gym, before I went on holiday I hadn't been for over a month which is of course really bad. So I want to come up with a routine that is realistic and I will be able to stick to. I also really want to go to the gym with Biggy on Saturday's  but more for a relaxing time and use the spa facilities. One thing that should really push me into this is the fact that in June I am taking part in the Zest Challenge which is a 5k assault course.

3) Honestly stick to my 1500 limit,again for the last few months I don't think there was one day where I actually kept to the 1500 limit mainly due to wine taking me way over my allowance but being away has proven to me that you can lose weight by eating less (duh)  but all the times I was saying omg...I have only lost 0.5lbs or 0lbs what am I doing wrong... it's obviously what I am eating and the amounts I am eating.. I lost 7lbs in 14 days... so it can be done... I don't expect or want to lose that amount every 2 weeks but it is possible to have a 1-2lbs loss a week. BUT ONLY IF I STICK TO MY ALLOWANCE

4) I will be shaking up my diet - I have mentioned this before but being in Cameroon has definitely made me want to do it more - I have no need for bread I really noticed while away that when I ate bread (about 3 times in 2 weeks ) I felt full, bloated and heavy. So I really want to cut it out. I know sometimes it might crop up occasionally and thats fine but no more Garlic Bread or baguettes or toast or sandwiches etc...I also will be eating less red meat and more fish during the week, we ate alot of fish in Cameroon and Biggy never once complained about the lack of red meat. We also didn't eat pasta or rice once and that was also really good, I will still be eating pasta and rice and potatoes but won't be making them a stable part of our weekly meal plans. Instead I want to incorporate alot more veg to replace the pasta and rice that we normally have with every meal..

5) And finally - I want to start my Nutrition course - my first day back at work and I was hungry at 10.30am - I was thinking about it during the day and trying to figure out why - although I like my job and I am happy here I don't feel that it is a job that really fullfills me - I enjoy it but I am not in love with it - I make good money from it but I am not doing anything that has an impact - I was thinking today how nice would it be to spend my time helping other people, helping others better their lives and deal with the problems that I deal with now. I am 26 and am only just figuring out my diet and slowly learning to get rid of all the self hate. How amazing would it be to help people before they get to where I was at 231lbs..and how much of a fulfilling day would it be. When I am doing something I happy with and 100% enjoying food is far away from my thoughts and I don't look at the time, I want that every day not just on weekends...life is too short. I feel that if I started doing my first course it would make me more fulfilled and as though I am on the path to giving me the life I want.

End of the 1st Quarter

Dear all, this is the last post for about 2weeks or so as I am going on holiday! I'm really looking forward to it, it will be so nice to actually get some sunshine rather than all the grey we have over in England at the moment! 

The main thing I want to achieve while I am away is really have a break from wine...one of my bessies came over last night and we had a great meal, we had Mussels and sweet potato and butternut squash (instead of chips), salad and french bread followed by a WW dessert, it was all really healthy and I did have some of the bread but only a few bits to soak up the sauce from the mussels. In total it was only 414 cals BUT we then had just under 3 bottles of wine...and that racked up over 650 calories alone.  When I completed my entry on My Fitness Pal with the wine it said I would be the same weight that I am at now in 5 weeks, I took off the wine and completed my entry I would have lost 6lbs...it just goes to show that that wine is really hugely calorific, has no goodness to give your body and is really a bit of  a waste. I know I have spoken about it alot and never seem to be able to achieve it but it really is something I would like to cut out... it's very much a habit with me and lifestyle and it will be hard to break but I know the benefits will really outweigh (ha) the fact of drinking wine... like anything with me...if I don't have it I don't want it, it's having the "just one glass" that I have a problem with! 

Anyway, really looking forward to coming back from holiday and putting quite alot of plans into action. The last few months have been tough and I haven't really had my head in the game enough to lose weight, but I have turned my wardrobe around, not put on weight and have been able to really focus on where I am going wrong. For me I am seeing this holiday as the end of the 1st quarter of the year and although that doesn't mean that I am going to not work hard from now it does mean that when I am home I am going to be really ready to take the control back and lose those last 14lbs to get me to my 1st mini goal of 13 stone. 

Have a fantastic couple of weeks peeps and look forward to catching up when I am back! 

Brick By Brick

At the moment, I do feel like I am hitting a brick wall in regards to seeing the scales go down (weighed in 196lbs AGAIN). All I am doing is maintaining and it is the most frustrating thing. But then I also know that realistically I am not being as good as I could be, I am drinking alot and not going to the gym. SO realistically the Brick wall is something I have put up myself. I was thinking about it over the weekend and although I am annoyed that in the last 3 months I have gone up and down by 2 lbs and am still at the same point that I was on December the 24th I have come forward massively in other areas. Also I know that April is the month that I am seeing changes happen and I am turning things around... enough is enough...

The last few months I have totally re-done my wardrobe and seen my attitude to myself really change. No longer do I have the demon in my head telling me how shit I look, instead I catch myself in the mirror and actually sometimes am shocked as I think...gosh...I don't actually look half bad! When I see my outline I think do you know what....thats looking alot smoother than it used to and there are alot less lumps and bumps .. Don't get me wrong, I still have a way to go but I am alot happier internally than I think I have been in a long long time!

At the weekend I went shopping for clothes for Cameroon, it was so much fun... I did a mammoth buy in Primark and bought so many clothes its unbelievable! Everything I bought I really liked and thought, yes that does look good. Yes I do look sexy in this, yes this does flatter my shape and anything I tried on that I didn't like instead of thinking "oh I'm so fat that's why it looks so awful" I just thought well this just doesn't flatter my figure!

At the moment I am playing around with the idea of cutting bread out of my diet as well as quite alot of forms of diary.  I just want to shake up my diet and look at things that are potentially  making me feel bloated. I am not going to go totally zero in regards to dairy but just actively cutting down on cheese, cream, milk etc. All these areas are a weakness for me and not that good for you. Then in regards to bread I am going to cut out 90% of it. I love things like Garlic Bread, Pizza, Cake, warm baguettes fresh out of the oven, croissant etc... all these things are always unhealthy and I very rarely eat a bread that is healthy. I once gave up bread for Lent and actually found it quite easy to sustain so think I am going to start doing that all the time. The reason why I say 90% of the time is because I know there will be occasions where I will eat bread  for example I have recently re-discovered Soreen Bread which is incredibly low in fat, a high source of Fibre and really filling. I am having it for breakfast at the moment and it seriously keeps me full until after 2.00pm without any desires to snack mid-morning...which is AMAZING!

I am also playing around with the idea of also eating brown rice and brown pasta instead of white... it's not a big change to my diet but can have quite positive benefits to your health. Basically anything that's white... I don't want to eat it as much... bread, cream, cheese, potatoes, rice, pasta

Looking into Nutrition has really made me think alot more about food and health as normally alot of the things that make us put on weight are all the processed foods and they are all the ones that are addictive... we always crave chocolate and hardly ever crave an apple. With me I know if I just cut these things out it will be easier for me than just having "one" or limiting myself to having them occasionally ... we all know that once you have one... you go on a binge...

Take it Away

Ok so last night my parents came back from holiday so had a big Family night as my brother and his family came up as well. As my parents had just flown in that day we ordered a Chinese take away. I was quite good and didn't have too much but boy oh boy... did I feel so ill after and so incredibly thirsty! It was all nice but not amazing, I would have been just as happy (if not happier) with a home made meal or something. I had Chicken Satay and Chicken Kung Po Chicken with Rice. I did go over my 1500 limit but I did plan ahead as I still had just over 750 calories left to use for the night and normally I only leave myself 500cals.

The good thing I am taking from it is that it has made me realise that I really don't like ready meals... I know a Chinese isn't a ready meal as such but its quick access food and it just doesn't do it for me. There was an article in the newspaper the other day that the average Briton eats up to 12 takeaways a month and spends on average £1320 a year on takeaways. That is crazy! Biggy and I very very rarely eat takeaways or ready meals, I would say on average we probably have a takeaway/readymeal on average about once every three months if that. I know that often people don't feel like cooking especially if you are cooking for just you but it is so easy to make fresh healthy meals from scratch with minimum prep and low cost. Our easy meal is a salmon fillet which you buy at the fish counter, you ask them to out in the the " ready for oven" bags with a bit of seasoned butter, shove it in the oven for 20 minutes, boil some pasta and when cooked mix up some pesto in with it... DONE... you have a lovely salmon fillet with pesto pasta and minimum effort. All of that is also probably cheaper than a take away...god knows how much it all cost last night as we ordered about 20 dishes (my father and brother always go a bit overboard!) Going forward next time my parents order a takeaway I will just go for a Soup ...something that's not bright orange or full of oil!

Menu For The Week

How are we all doing today? Today was a good day for me, work was good and food wise was really good, also I did my 50 crunches this morning before getting in the shower so really pleased about that! Today I have been thinking about food (some things don't change!) and normally I do a menu plan before Biggy and I go shopping, I did do one for the next 2 weeks but I put it on my phone and didn't save it so need to re-design one! I had a look on the internet and found some amazing recipes  mainly my inspiration came from Pinterest ... seriously people... if you are not on this yet... you are MISSING OUT BIG TIME! There are some great boards out there covering all aspects of life and especially some for Healthy eating. I was really lucky that I found this article on Shape listing a number of food related Boards to follow with skinny recipes on them and then from that I then found this great website called skinnymom  which has hundreds of good tips and pointers including loads of recipes..

Anyway..so far this is my meal plan until we go on holiday (this is just dinners) 

Wed: Steamed Chicken, Mushrooms, Peppers, Pesto and Pasta

Thurs: Out For Dinner

Fri: Salmon in a Bag and Veg

Sat:  Lunch: Frittata  Dinner: Pork Chops with Dijon Mushrooms and Veg

Sun: Roast Chicken (English Sunday Lunch)

Mon: Thai Chicken Green Curry (Left over Chicken)

Tues: Mussels and Chips

Wed: Bangers and Mash with Onion Gravy

Thurs: HOLIDAY

Now as you can see I have planned alot of meals with meat and actually this is something I am wanting to adjust and just have meat maybe 2 or 3 times a week and eat more fish. However there is something in me that says if I don't give Biggy meat then I am not providing a decent meal. This inner feeling is crazy as I know Biggy likes a vegetarian meal and although we are both meat lovers we both are really happy with a veg meal as well.

Planning dinners is defo the way to go for watching calories and staying in control and it really helps the budget as well. You may be wondering where my plan is for lunch but I eat lunch at work and so normally plan that myself on a Monday. I always have fresh food for lunch or a soup and never go for any "ready meals" including sandwiches and Breakfast I normally have porridge or muesli with yogurt. 

New Month = New Start

How was everybody's extra long weekend? Mine was good. Alot of time for reflection and thought which is always good. I am really excited that it's a new month, it means a new start. I know I am always saying it and you know what I will always say it until I have all these healthy eating habits set in stone! So a fresh start...what am I going to focus on... well I could say I am going to focus on lots of things and then totally fail as I have taken on too much... so instead I am going to focus this month on sticking to my 1500 daily allowance ..this is what I have planned for myself...

I think that this is realistic and also allows me to replace the snack with extra wine if I want to. That is the other thing I am going to focus on... brining my wine intake right down... not all the way as that would be impossible... but just down... 100 cals would allow me a small glass of red a night if I wanted...or one large glass if I gave up my snack in favour of my wine. If one day I also have a smaller lunch and don't use all my calories then they too can go towards wine or a snack. I want to be flexible and sensible in my approach but just make sure I don't go over that 1500 limit. 

Mini Challenge for the month: My mini challenge I would like to set myself is to get in the habit of doing daily stomach crunches as that is the area I totally hate...I can do them in the morning before I have a shower as I wait for the water to heat up. It will only take 5 minutes or less and I will start with doing 50 this month and hopefully by the end of April I will be a pro at doing 50. 

The challenges I am facing this month are: 2 weeks in Africa where I will have NO idea what the calorie allowance for the food is. Biggy is originally from Cameroon and we are going to meet his family as he hasn't been back for over 5 years so there will be alot of celebrating and alot of food. I know that is considered rude to decline the food initially so am just going to have to come up with a plan to get out of having 2nd's and 3rds!  

What I am grateful for this month: I am grateful for the fact that since taking more care in me and my appearance I am feeling alot better about myself and feel more hip (I know, I know) and feel alot more sexy. I am also grateful for the fact that all though I let myself down I get back up again and I am just as motivated as I was a year ago and have every confidence in myself that I will achieve my goal. 

Any fresh starts or focus plans for anyone else?