Happy New Month

Happy New Month everybody! I love a new month as it's a time where you can have a fresh start, draw a line and re-focus if needed. I know alot of people set goals for the month and it got me thinking what are my goals for this month...? To be honest I am pretty happy with most things at the moment but as always there are a few thing I would like to work on... 

1) I would like to lose 5lbs this month... again I weighed in at 187..it's very frustrating for me especially as I am working out regularly and I am not seeing the scales go down (more on this later) I am tired of only losing 1 or 2 lbs a month...which is traditionally how much I lose. I would like to really do better.. I still have 26lbs to lose for this year to get me to 11 and half stone (161lbs) the only way I am going to achieve this is by losing just under 5lbs a month.. 

2) I would like to really get my eating under control... I am so much better than I was (believe me) but I still have things that I shouldn't and still eat secretly which I also shouldn't..I think like anything it's about getting the into the habit...recently I stopped eating in between meals and now I don't even think about snacking...so I just need  to break the habits. 

3)I would really like to drink less (again) this is very much a constant theme throughout my life but I really would like to try and not drink wine during the week..I'm drinking less than I used to but I want to bring it down further. 

4) This month I would like to try eating with the 5:2 plan. I know that in a sense it's a diet but for me I think it will really help getting my eating under control and help me take the power back from food... my problem at the moment is purely a case of eating too much, this way I will make sure I am under my weekly limit. I am planning on doing it on Tues and Thurs as these are the days I do my toning workouts and so don't use half as much energy and have noticed that on those 2 days I go over my reduced calorie limit..

5)I would like to continue my good work at the Gym...

Workout...I Love You

Today I had another awesome workout... I loved it... I ran for 30mins straight and was so close to giving up around the 20-25 minute mark...I was thinking I can't do another 10 minutes...I just can't... but then I said to myself...Katherine yes you can... commit to it... work for it... you are mentally giving up ...you can do this...just one more minute more and guess what... I did complete the 30 minutes...I was sweating so much and had it dripping down my front (Sexiest thing ever seeing the sweat run over my collarbones) and then afterwards completed 40 abb-crunches and 30 squats...so feeling pretty damn good about myself! Particularly pleased as yesterday I had a bit of shit workout as woke up with a headache that then progressed into a migraine...I still did my toning workout but was really hating it and I am sure didn't do it with as much gusto (great word) as I could have...at the moment my toning workout consists of a 10min Victoria Secret Workout (see video) and then an Abb Routine mixed in with crunches, planks and squats...

Yesterday I didn't come anywhere close to hitting my step goal and mile goal with my Fitbit but due to not feeling great I wasn't too concerned about it..I have done a tally of my cals consumed this week for my allowance as I have gone over twice but then also been under 3 times... I need to burn or be under by an extra 132 calories to get back to an average of -500cals a day...so will try and achieve this today as I have already burnt 1209cals and have an estimated burn rate of 2556 for today so my food allowance is 2057cals which is quite alot...Gosh...Don't I sound like I know what I am talking about....lol! 

Feeling good at the moment which is fantastic as this time last week my bout of blues was just starting...going to continue to have a good weekend and see the scales drop for Monday - really want to see 186lbs..or less...as truly tired of seeing 187...enough is enough... so fat..be warned...my workouts are coming for you!! 

This Is What Makes Me Go To The Gym

Everybody needs inspiration and motivation to get to the gym in the mornings or to lose weight or resist that snack...after 2 and half weeks I am still struggling to open my eyes at 6.20am...but every day I do it...and every day I go to the gym... this is what I think of when I am lying in my warm bed, next to Biggy, still tired and considering staying in bed....this is what makes me get up and go do my workout...

Is It So Hard????

It's so funny... I struggle so much with my weight... and since coming back from Holiday after losing a whopping 7lbs in 2 weeks I have struggled to move closer to my goal of 13stone...It makes me think...what am I doing wrong..? Is it so hard to lose weight... ? The answer should be NO! 

Every day I look back at my food diary and think "Well I could have done without that and I could have not indulged in that" and it is that simple. If I didn't give into my cravings and I hit my daily targets with my Fitbit I would lose 1lbs a week and within the 4 weeks I have been back be 1lbs away from hitting target! I know that this is much easier said than done but why can't I get it in my head that if I just stuck to what everything is telling me then I would be successful. 

I am now in a good routine of going to the gym and the last 2 weeks have gone to the gym every time I have supposed to and have been doing the workouts I wanted to achieve... but there is little point in doing all of this and literally sweating my arse off if I am going to ruin it by my eating habits. Every time I go over my calorie limit it is due to food that I don't need like chocolate, crisps, wine etc... and every time I regret it the next day... those craving are purely emotional eating and I give in to them every time. It's stupid... Do you know what Biggy said to me the other day "Just think..if you could control your eating habits think how much slimmer you would be"...he didn't mean it the way it came out..he was saying how I have come so far and still have bad habits .... I had just had to pour a glass of water over the left over  home-made sweet and sour chicken as I was secretly eating it in the kitchen while Biggy was in the sitting room... 

I know what I want to achieve, I know how to achieve it so why do I still take solace in food...? Don't get me wrong I am getting alot better... I no longer snack in between meals at work...If I catch myself doing something I shouldn't, like the sweet and sour, I do deal with it then and there by either spitting it out, throwing whatever it is in the bin or telling Biggy what is going through my head and so not then being able to do it secretly. I even count EVERYTHING I eat be it good or bad..and I really do mean everything  If ti has passed my lips I write it down and that's why how I know I make such stupid mistakes...because sometimes I still fail and do eat secretly and do have the food that I know I shouldn't have... 

I really really want to sort this out... I am really impressed with myself with the gym and if I can succeed in that I can and I will succeed in regards to food...bad food makes me depressed and does nothing for me..so realise that and stop eating it. 

Weekend Blues

I have to say after my post of being totally in the zone last week I fell off the wagon over the weekend and only had myself to blame. It started with me just being really tired on Friday which then resulted in me having comfort food in the day (Biscuits)  and then in the evening I cooked a (very yummy) Skinny Sweet and Sour Chicken from SkinnyMom which is fine apart from the fact we also had some spring rolls as starters and I had 2 of those and about 2 large glasses of wine. Then on Saturday I baked a cake, I only baked it because again I was feeling down and I wanted to eat some raw cake mixture (don't even ask) even while I was eating it I knew I was going to regret it as a) it's so so not good for you and b) I feel really bloated afterwards as I am pretty sure it expands in my stomach! Then in the evening we went out for dinner where I ate a Skinny Pizza (low cal) at Zizi's but bumped it up with 2 large glasses of white wine...then on Sunday although I ate better still felt really down in the dumps. 

I weighed myself on Monday and saw no change so still at 187lbs which I am not happy about as it means in 4 weeks I have lost 2lbs and during the week this week I was doing really well and was seeing 186 on the scales so could have lost 2lbs this week if I had stayed focused. 

I need to look at the trigger for my "blues" as they have lasted a couple of days and have really got me down and made me do stupid things like overeat and drink wine! I think it really started when I tried on the beige trousers and looked at the behind view of me, what I saw I just hated and although I know that the view I had was mainly due to my mirror being one of those cheap ones and so giving the image of circus mirror it was still not a great image to see. It's amazing how much it affected me as I went from feeling really in control and good to right down in the dumps and saying so many negative things in my head. All the negativity increased when I ate bad food and drank wine.. wine especially makes me hate myself as it just brings out the "Demoralizing Me" and the things I say to myself are shocking... its really not good especially when your BF is all over you, loving you, appreciating you and all you can do is tell yourself how ugly and fat and disgusting you are... it's hard to be in the mood when you have that running through your head all the time...and so unfair on the other person as they think it's them...

On Monday I went to the gym and actually had a really good session. This week I am tasking myself with running for straight 30 minutes as last week I was running for a straight 25 minutes. After this week I will be looking at increasing my speed as I only have time for 30 minute run in the mornings before going to work. I managed to do the 30 minute run no problems...was feeling it towards the end but kept on going and for that I am really pleased! 

I was still a bit down yesterday and today I am ok, not great but not bad. I don't know what gets into me... something will trigger a bout of sadness that will last a day or two and it is always related to my weight, body image and size...and although I know I am so much better than I used to be and so much further along the right path there is nothing I can say to myself to get me out of the bout... I just need to wait for it to pass....

This week I am focusing on healthy eating, gym and losing 1lbs... that is my goal... I only have 5lbs to go until I hit 13 stone and I don't want that taking months and months... I would love to lose them by the 14th of June... but we will see....

Totally Knackered & A Hip of a Dilemma

Oh my goodness......I am KNACKERED. Really need to have a  rest day and luckily it is Saturday tomorrow! Got up this morning and went to the gym, almost didn't go (as normal) as was just feeling so tired but just did the usual thing and got up and got going... Arrived at the gym a little later than normal but still managed in a 30 minute run... The first 5 minutes I always spend walking at a quick pace to warm up so ran straight for 25 minutes but was running at a 4.3mph pace and so covered just over 2 miles. This morning I enjoyed the run but did struggle towards the end, my mind kept on saying just turn the speed down a bit but I didn't slow down and kept on telling myself that is was my mind that was giving in not my body and that I could complete it...and low and behold I did complete it with no regrets. Because I started slightly later this morning I didn't have time to do any crunches or squats but I am not beating myself up about it as to be honest my body is aching... 6 days in the gym on the trot....whoop whoop! 

I have noticed today however that because I am tired I am wanting to eat "Comfort Food" and I will totally admit that I have had a couple of biscuits today but I have calculated them into MFP and am sticking to my limit no problems. It's so annoying because of those biscuits weren't in the office I wouldn't have had them... but because they are there and I am tired my willpower is pretty much Zero! 

Yesterday I bought some really nice Beige colour Skinny Jeans from M&S (£22.50) and was very happy to report I just slipped on a size 16 (Have been size 20/22)... I did try the size 14 but am not quite there yet... I really like them as they will go with quite a few of my tops and can be either dressed up or down. They looked perfect from the front and I did look at the back quickly and all looked good... I tried them on again at home just to be sure and then had a proper look at the back... and OMG... I am really not sure about it....I don't think they are doing alot of favours to my backside but also not sure if it's my warped vision of myself or the mirror.....Basically I realised how chunky my thighs are which is funny as I had been thinking my thighs and hips have been looking alot better recently.... I am going to show you what I mean with a very basic drawing... 

Do you see what I mean...? So when wearing light coloured jeans I just thought it really accentuated how my hips are alot wider than my arse... and I think your arse should finish or align with your hips... not like above!  The extra "Hip" after my waist is going down and is considerably better than it used to be... but still not totally smooth and that is what I am really aiming for... to have that clean smooth line on the hips... I am going to wear the jeans tonight at home and see what Biggy says... I also know that the squats will help as since losing weight my arse has got flatter...still wide but now just flat...

Smooth Lines

Not Smooth Lines (Photo taken in July 12)

Zone-A-Fied

Well I have to say I am feeling just so in the Zone at the moment and am totally loving it. I have been going to the gym when I am supposed to and have fought off the demon that says "Oh just stay in bed" every morning...it does make me laugh that I have the same debate with myself EVERY morning and every morning it wins for about 30 seconds and I lie back down but then I think "If  I don't go to the gym I am not going to get the body I want" and that's it... I'm up and out of the bed and in the gym by 6.30am! Also what is great is that I am actually enjoying the gym, the other day while running I actually was enjoying it... it was a very weird moment for me! 

I am also doing really well with my Fitbit and hitting my targets every day. They are harder to hit on Tuesday's and Thursday's as they are my toning days at the gym so don't take so many steps in the morning to set me up for the day but then last Tuesday I got home and had myself a dance party around the house to make sure I hit the 10k step mark! Calorie wise I have been doing well and keeping in my limit, even when I have a small blip ( someone opened a biscuit tin yesterday) I make sure I counteract it by adjusting my dinner to still keep in target. 

Then today I am having just such a good self-image day. I have caught my reflection in the mirror and thought...gosh.. is that me... I look quite good... I don't look fat anymore...my hips are looking alot smaller and my waist is looking trimmer... I think alot of this is coming from the knowledge that I have gone to the gym and am actually being active, it makes me notice my body as it's sore and tired and being used and toned up and it does make me feel really good to have that knowledge..

I really feel that I have hit a path in my life where this is going to stick, I am enjoying the gym in the morning, I am actually knowing how many calories I am burning during the day and so can stick to my limit with a much stronger knowledge that I really am below my limit and where and when I need to I can just so easly adjust it. Going to the gym has resulted in good moods which has then resulted in me eating better as I don't want to ruin the hard work I have done... So yes...all in all... I am feeling pretty damn good.... long may it last! 

What's the Buzz Around Squats?

Recently posted on Twitter by Celebs

I don't know if anyone else has noticed this but recently there seems to be a big focus on squats...Where the hell has this come from? I'm not saying it's a bad thing AT ALL...but funny how all of a sudden squats are everywhere.... but also I guess it shows how my life has changed that I now notice squats being in the media!!! 

Anyway, yesterday was my toning day at the gym so no running or cross trainer just good old weights and toning exercises... I decided to throw in some squats and see what all the fuss is about... but I have to say...I struggled ... nobody has ever really shown me how to do a squat and I think it's one of those things where you can very easily do it wrong and so not get the benefits from it... So here I am to the rescue!! Find below a video on how to do the perfect squat thanks to YouTube....seriously what would we do without it! 

My inner thighs were sore this morning which I didn't realise was from the squats yesterday until I went to do more squats this morning and felt the pain... so that's a good sign I guess! As long as I can perfect them I am defo going to incorporate them into my every day workout... at the moment I Run on a Monday, Toning on a Tuesday, Cross Trainer on a Wednesday, Toning on a Thursday, Running on Friday and what I want on a Sunday (a more gentle workout) but every day regardless of what workout I am doing I always do crunches so will now also bring in squats...