Firstly I can not believe it's February already, the year is going to fly by... I can tell!!! So WI in this morning resulted in staying bang on 14 stone (196lbs) and to be honest I am fine with that. I was really worried that I was actually going to have a gain so to see 196 is OK with me.
The last week wasn't great for me in regards to eating. I always seem to do this, I get a good Weigh In and then eat really badly that week which of course results in me going up and down on the scale continuously! I know I say this all the time and to be honest I am getting a bit bored of saying it... but I do really need to sort it out. I know what I have to do and I also know it's just a case of habit. I was thinking about it over the weekend...now bear with me on this one.... I clean all the time, I like our house to be nice and clean and tidy and can't abide mess (for more than a day)....now the point is, I never used to be like this. I would have never described myself as overly tidy, I mean I wasn't a slob and my house didn't look like a bomb had gone off or anything but I wasn't as tidy or clean as I am now by a mile! I changed, keeping a clean and tidy house became a priority for me when we moved into our lovely new home and it hasn't just been for the first few weeks but it has been constant and now is a very strong habit. This is what has to happen with my food habits.
Like I said I know what I have to do and now I just need to follow through...and constantly. It is the most boring thing to read every 2 weeks that "OMG...I let myself down" ...."OMG I ate a whole box of chocolates"...."OMG I just couldn't say no" because the thing is all those things that happen are all my doing and my lack of self-control. I have the passion and I have the the ability to change as I have changed quite a lot already in the months that I have been doing this and I know that I am not going to become this healthy amazing person over night who follows through all the time....But I could make a start. It's like I said in the previous post (Letting Myself Down..BUT...Fixing it) I know what I have to do and I just really have to get on with it. I know this is the same old message I say again and again... but it will continue to be the same message until I get it truly into my head that this IS what has to happen!
And thinking about it I need to embrace it as well... as perhaps I am not wanting to fully embrace it as I am scared of the changes it will bring...will I still stay the same person or will I become one of those people that say no to everything and will only eat holistic food etc (nothing wrong with that but not who I want to be!) I have to realise that doing this will only make me a better person and help become the person I want to be. I will change but the change will be good and won't make me a totally different person....so I have to do it, embrace it and not see it as a restriction diet thing but instead something that will help and fit in with who I am.
In my opinion, its a long journey. There will be lots of ups and downs. I know I've been on this journey for a solid 5 years straight. And my only net result until now has been continuous gains.
ReplyDeleteIt's definitely the mentality of it- if it's a diet, I feel deprived. So I under eat... then I binge. If its just a bunch of healthy choices- I feel positive about it. I'm just trying to spin it all positively so it doesn't feel so strict. I even drink or eat pizza or whatever. But everything in small amounts- therefore you don't feel deprived nor overindulged. Just keep it up! Overall you've been doing amazing!