Made It To The Pool On Time!

So cold this morning

 

 

This morning it was so dark when my alarm went off and I was so cosy in bed... for about a minute I thought ... oh fuck it I will go swimming tomorrow. But then I thought...wait...do I want to be over weight and not be totally happy with my body... no... so I hauled myself out of bed and went to the gym. My swimming was really good this morning, I was the only one in the pool for half my workout and so was talking to myself .. like a sane person does... and was just reminding myself that right at that moment I was doing something to make me better and stronger and to really feel my body moving and my muscles working and appreciate it. I will tell you what I felt:

 

I felt how my rib cage feels like it is just made up of bone and has lost the layer of fat that was sitting heavily on top of it

I felt my arms moving through the water and could feel my muscles contracting when I pulled to do another stroke

I could feel when I went on my back and put my hands on my waist that is feels alot smaller and more defined

I could feel my legs really going for it when I was kicking and knowing that every time I kicked I was using all my leg muscles

I could feel how I could go faster than I could 2 weeks ago

I could feel that I was enjoying swimming and not looking at the clock every time to see how much longer I had to do

I could feel that if I had time to I would have happily done an extra 20 minutes.

 I was also telling myself how I am in control of my choices and today I am choosing to be slimmer. Guess what.. today I have been good with food, feel good in myself and am in a good mood!

Bones!

 For me a feeling that I love is feeling my bones.. Now I know this sounds crazy and some people will think that I am going to go anorexic.. (which I am 100% not)... but I love feeling my bones... my ribcage, my shoulder bones (the round one at the top), my collar bone, my knees, my hip bone ( I can almost feel it !!) ... I know it sounds stupid but for me it means that I am not covered in fat! I don’t want to become too bony as I think that it very unattractive and I love a womanly figure... hips, bum and boobs is what its all about...but I do love the feeling of my bones.

 

Hips, Bum and Boobs

 Since I have started swimming I am not weighing myself everyday and I really don't miss it at all. I have found that in a way I am less concerned about what the scale says. I think its because I know I am exercising and I am getting back into the habit of eating healthily I am not so concerned about my weight and more concerned about how my body looks and feels. I know that I have just started swimming and so won't see a big change very quickly but I know that my body will change.. at least it better ... and when I start doing the classes twice a week on top my body will really change. I think doing exercise does change your attitude as you work hard to maintain your health so then when it comes to eating bad food you just think what is the point of doing something that will counteract your hard work! 5 minutes of something that tastes better in your head than it does in real life is not worth 30 minutes of exercise just to burn it off... I would rather do 30 minutes knowing that it is extra help to getting the thinner, sexier, happier me rather than cancelling out an indulgence of the fatty me.