Last night I got a mini telling off from one of my readers...and quite rightly so....she pointed out that with all of my diet plans I only stick with them for a short amount of time and don't give it 100% when I am doing it.
Weight Watchers - I never stuck to my total allowance and would use my Weeklies by Wednesday. I only did it for about 3 months and although I lost 10lbs it was mainly in the first few weeks.
MyFitnessPal - I very rarely stick to the 1500 allowance and if I have had a big meal one day and have gone over my allowance I won't try and compensate the next day.
The Gym - Actually I am pretty good with the gym but I never stick to the plan I have set myself - I just try and go at least 3 times a week.
Although I have made some really big changes in the way I look at food and have got a lot more healthy habits I still have some really devils about food. I weigh myself every day ... which actually I am fine with and I don't freak out if I have put on 2lbs... I'm not happy about it but I don't go crazy.... having said that I do sometimes look at food in a bad way....
- In the past I have taken Laxatives on a regular basis... for about 3-6 months but stopped when I was starting to get really bad cramps on a regular basis.
- On Sundays I tend to not eat very much at all as know I have my Weigh In the next day.
- I will try fad things like SlimFast if I think it will shift the weight quickly and the way I want although I know deep down it's not long lasting.
- I do panic if I know there are going to be alot of social occasions where I am going to be eating alot of food... I come from a family of foodies so if I didn't eat so much or miss portions (i.e dessert) then a big thing is made of it and the mick is taken out of me until I agree to have something.
- I have come slightly obsessed with my bowel movements .. in my eyes food out is very good as it means it's not staying in me. I actually drink Prune juice on a daily basis to make sure that this happens and if I don't go for 24 hours will drink twice as much to make sure the food moves out of me.
- I seriously wish I didn't have such an obsession with food and wasn't always thinking about it...I think that if I do do SlimFast or something similar to that where I can really cut my desire for food down and shrink my stomach then it will be alot better.
- As soon as I have eaten something "bad" I do then think shit I really shouldn't have eaten that and then stress a little and beat myself up about it ... I also tend to secret eat at home so Biggy doesn't see me.
I think what I am trying to say is that I am constantly battling with myself to lose weight the healthy way and not the stupid way as well as ... at the same time ... battling against the urge to just eat everything give up...luckily I am too now vain for that to happen again. My biggest problem is that I love food and I don't want to be one of those people that say no to things all the time, Biggy and I enjoy sharing a dessert and having treats together...and I know what you will say... you can still have a treat and lose weight... the problem is that I have no self discipline and it is easier just to say no than have one and stop... but then this is where the secret eating comes in.....
I know that losing the weight the healthy way is the way forward, consuming 1500 calories a day, being controlled with food that I know is a temptation for me, not giving into peer-pressure and exercising regularly is the way of life I need to have... it's just so hard when losing weight is so central in your life not to pick up bad and stupid habits on the way..
You sound so much like me... Or what I like to think is the old me. I've tried so many diets and programs, but they rarely work, purely because I can't stick to them. Right now I am doing WW... which is working well. I am actually sticking to something for once.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you stopped taking laxatives. Those are so dangerous. Surprisingly I've never tried them, especially considering how obsessed I used to be.
I think its great that you at least understand and see when you are making silly decisions, it's the only way to fight against them! If you find it hard having just one of something and then saying no, like I do, maybe you need to set clear boundaries, and make sure Biggy is aware of these, and ask him to support you by not tempting you, and not bringing any 'trigger' foods into the house. Maybe you need to have a talk to your family too? Honestly if you are committed and persevere your family will get used to the fact that you just don't do desert, and are trying to make positive changes, it might take awhile, but then they'll get used to it being just something you do!
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